Shabbat is hands-down my favorite Biblically appointed time with YHVH (Leviticus 23). How abundantly blessed I am that this rest comes once a week and is rich in the Word of God and the power of His Spirit. Obedience to God’s Word concerning His seventh day of rest has been life changing for me.
In fact, Shabbat itself is a commanded change of lifestyle and pace. Six days are all the same, but the seventh day is set apart. We work six days of the week. We rest the seventh day of the week. We go about our business six days of the week. We tend only to the Father’s business the seventh day of the week. Shabbat is to be markedly different, contrasting to the other six days of the week.
As a mother, my desire is that my children will also experience this change of lifestyle and pace in a very tangible way. Of course, we publicly gather and read God’s word (“holy convocation,” Leviticus 23:8), but what about all the other moments on Shabbat when we’re not in a Torah service? How will our family keep those “other” moments set apart, special, and markedly different from the rest of the week’s everyday moments?
One of the ways we have chosen to illustrate that Shabbat is different is to begin it differently than all the other days of the week. For years, our family had the tradition of lighting candles and eating a “special” dinner on my great-grandmother’s china to commemorate Shabbat starting. Our tradition was special, and we did enjoy it.
But it was after being invited to an Erev Shabbat (evening of Sabbath, Friday evening) dinner party six years ago that my heart was awakened to the true joy of Shabbat and what a celebration of this gift can look like.
When I say we were invited to a dinner party, I mean dinner partaaaay! Imagine with me the scene:
We walked into a welcoming home with scents of food greeting us as heartily as our hosts with hugs. Smiles and laughter filled the room as our family and another guest family arrived. “We can make our way into the dining room,” our hostess cheerfully announced.
The beautiful table setting caused our eyes to widen in wonder. An elegant table was set before us with gold chargers, “silk” napkins, wine goblets (even child sized ones for our two children!), and “fine” dish ware. A lovely arrangement of flowers added height and color to the smooth, cream table cloth and blue, soft table runner. Our whole family was struck by the loveliness of it all. (Without a desire to put on pretenses, our hostess informed us that she bought the majority of her Shabbat furnishings from the dollar store. You better believe I was at the dollar store before the next Erev Shabbat!)
But… that’s not even where the true delight began. At each of our place settings, a homemade bejeweled booklet, titled “Our Family Shabbat,” caught our eyes. Thus began the reading of Scripture, the strumming of the guitar and melodious singing, the blessings over all those present (husbands, wives, and children), the breaking of the challah bread, and the drinking of grape juice and wine. Finally, we partook of a simple, but delicious meal and had excellent conversation with a spirit of joy and gratitude for the Shabbat binding us all together.
How rich the experience was! Our whole family, ranging from ages 1 to *ahem* adult, had such a joyous experience welcoming Shabbat that I was inspired to put forth the extra effort to bring a similar Erev Shabbat into my home. And that’s exactly what I did.
Six years later, the Erev Shabbat party has become a mainstay in our family’s Shabbat traditions and continues to usher the delight and rest of Shabbat into our home in a tangible way. If you are intrigued by the idea of welcoming Shabbat in festive fashion, here are 5 considerations and tips to get you started:
1. Preparation is peace.
Let’s be honest. It’s hard to celebrate when we’re feeling stressed and rushed. When we’re barely finishing our work before sunset, our mindset is no where near the soundness needed to throw a party in the mix! I get it. I’ve been there. Honestly, sometimes, life just happens, and I find myself in that place again. But divvying out my cleaning, cooking, and errands tasks throughout the week— with Erev Shabbat in mind— has made all the difference in my spirit, and ultimately, the tone of my home leading into Shabbat. I personally aim to have all Shabbat preparations finished by early afternoon Friday, so the party specific details can be done with a much more carefree, relaxed spirit. I’m more present and patient with my children, songs of praise come spontaneously to my lips, and I’m more likely to do a “little extra special something” to show my family love or to bring glory to YHVH. Not only is the house “party ready,” but so is the household! The atmosphere has been set by my preparations.
2. Set a “fancy” table.
The atmosphere has been set, and so now we turn our attention to the environment. Since our Erev Shabbat party happens around the table, I dress it up to make it decidedly different from the weekday table. Flowers! A formal place setting! Chargers (pssst: they’re from the dollar store), dinner plate, salad plate, napkins folded in a special way, wine glass, water glass, fork and knife. (I use my great-grandmother’s china to elevate the elegance.) Table cloth and runner! Candles! What a beautiful, eye catching table can be set to welcome in Shabbat and further establish its significance and distinction. My children especially love to be involved in the table setting process, which builds their anticipation and eagerness for Shabbat. They have worked for it, and soon they get to rest in it! In fact, as soon as the table is set, my children are usually sitting down to “play” Erev Shabbat party. Our special table setting relays to our children the special day we are welcoming!
3. Know what you’re cooking.
Just about every Erev Shabbat, I make the same dish. It’s easier for me that way because I’m making a tried and true meal (no accidental flops going into Shabbat!). I know exactly what I need to do to prepare for the meal (won’t forget to thaw the meat!), and I know exactly how long it needs to cook (so we have warm and not over done food!). But guess what? We never tire of our Erev Shabbat menu because I’ve chosen a dish that can be made a variety of ways, and it tastes absolutely delicious!
Our menu is roasted whole chicken, roasted seasonal vegetables, salad, sourdough challah bread, grape juice, and a baked dessert (usually cobbler). Though my basic menu is the same, by changing up the seasonings and spices on the chicken, the vegetables depending on season, the fixings in the salad, and the fruit in the cobbler, we have a completely different dinner every week. I also roast the whole chicken and the vegetables together in one large roasting pan, saving myself from a chaotic clean up later.
4. Serve up the Scriptures!
Our Erev Shabbat party is much more than an inviting table and tasty food. We have created an order (“siddur” in Hebrew) to our party so that we are intentional about remembering YHVH and His covenant, verbally acknowledging what Shabbat is, why we have it, what it entails, and what it points to prophetically. We use Scripture to bless and encourage each person in the family and reaffirm YHVH’s design of the family. We take opportunity to sing praises and boast on the goodness of YHVH. I compiled the Scriptures into a little booklet, and we take about 30 minutes before our meal to enter into Shabbat as a family united in YHVH’s ways and reflecting with gratitude on the Most High and the gift of one another. For us, it’s incredibly meaningful and special.
5. Share the joy!
Six years ago, I was invited to an Erev Shabbat party, which revolutionized how my family welcomes Shabbat and sparked an enthusiasm for keeping YHVH’s holy day in ways that are significant to our family. Now my mission is to spread the delight of Shabbat with others! I am compelled to look into the needs of my fellowship and community and bring in anyone that can be blessed. Friendships become closer when we celebrate Shabbat together. Whenever you’re ready, I encourage you to invite others into your home. Enthusiasm is contagious!
Is there one way to welcome Shabbat? Oh, definitely not! Over the years, even our Erev Shabbat celebration has morphed and been adjusted. We learn. We experience. We go through morning all day sickness, stress, busyness, and seasons where we can barely think to say “Shabbat shalom” (peaceful Sabbath), much less plan a party. Our traditions become fine tuned to our particular preferences, family personalities, and season of life.
The Erev Shabbat party is a meaningful tradition to our family, and I share it in hopes it can inspire you to create your own special way of welcoming Shabbat. If you’re not in a place of desire or ability for an Erev Shabbat party, no problem! We have the freedom within Torah for our family Shabbat traditions to be vastly different from one another, and yet, to remain unified in our pursuit of obedience to YHVH and His Word.
Erev Shabbat parties are a lot of fun, though…. Just saying….
Shalom!
Raquel
Women Living Torah 