Recently, I gave birth to my fourth baby, a handsome and precious baby boy we named Judah Nehemiah, for “I give praise! YHVH comforts.” Judah’s birth is to me a beautiful lesson in surrendering to YHVH’s design— in childbirth and in life.
With the birth of each of my children, I have tried my best to not assume what it will be like. I’ve always taken the stance that “labor will be whatever it will be.” I haven’t sought “pain free” childbirth, and yet, I have had not one, not two, not three, but four pain free (or practically pain free) labors (all natural and at home).
“Pain free labor doesn’t mean labor free labor.” I often tell others. I have to prepare for childbirth, and I have to work in my labors. It’s still an all-consuming, immense effort and exertion on my part to bear a child.
My strategy in childbirth is based on the idea of the fear—tension—pain cycle I first read about in Childbirth without Fear by Grantly Dick-Read. The idea is essentially that our fear of childbirth (“it’s going to hurt so bad! I’m going to tear!”) leads to tension in our bodies; this tension leads to pain. When we feel pain, we become more fearful, which in turn causes us to become more tense and experience more pain.
These next 13 natural childbirth tips are ones I use to address this fear—tension—pain cycle in my labors and are “how” I have pain-free labors.
Before Labor
1. Meditate on the fact that childbirth is YHVH’s design. Childbirth is not a process without a purpose, but is bringing my baby to me. It is a good design; therefore, I do not need to fear it.
2. Knowledge is power. I educate myself on the birthing process. I listen to other women’s birth stories. I watch videos simulating the moves baby must make in labor for delivery. I research how contractions work and what hormones are at play.
3. Imagine labor. I like to take time before the birth of each baby to think through what labor may be like. Of course, I try to imagine the most ideal birthing scene ever— spa like atmosphere, candles glowing… But inevitably, something creeps into my imagination that I hadn’t intended— or desired. A contraction stabs me in the abdomen. The midwife misses the birth. This fear or that fear. In my imaginings, I can “rewind” and correct the issue. I can educate myself on that fear, which takes most (if not all) of its power away.
In Labor
4. Ignore, distract, and deny during early labor. For as long as possible, I go about my day as normal. If I can walk and talk through a contraction, I do. But when I must focus on contractions, I do the following:
5. Get in a relaxing position. I personally like to remain upright and lean over a countertop or birthing ball. At a countertop, I rest on my elbows so as to keep myself from griping the countertop with my hands (see next tip). On a birthing ball, I lean my chest against the ball and allow my hands to drape down.
6. Keep hands, wrists, and fingers moving and loose. As I lean over a countertop or birthing ball, I either shake my hands, or wiggle my fingers, or twist my wrists. The constant movement gives me something to do and focus on in a contraction, and it also keeps me from tensing my hands (and as a result the rest of my body) during contractions.
7. Sway hips to keep them loose. Once again, I am keeping my hips moving in order to keep myself from tensing during contractions.
8. Keep jaw and mouth loose through low breathing. In most contractions, I can be heard making an exhaling sound. As I feel baby descend, my breathing shifts into an “ahhh” sound. The point is to keep my mouth open and relaxed.
9. Apply strong back counterpressure. For me, my husband’s counterpressure on my back neutralizes the pressure of contractions.
10. Visualize the birthing process. Using the knowledge I’ve gained from tip #2, I visualize what is happening in labor as labor progresses. It encourages me that “it’s working! This is exactly what needs to happen!”
11. Pray during contractions. During several contractions throughout labor, I find myself praying, giving thanks to YHVH that His design is working, that the contraction I am having is bringing my baby to me.
In Delivery
12. Turn knees inward during the pushing stage. My sister’s physical therapist shared this trick with her, and I borrowed it. When our knees are turned inward, our pelvis is opened to its widest point. When our knees are splayed outward, our pelvis is in its most closed position. Obviously, during delivery, as baby’s head is passing through the pelvis, we want the opening to be the widest it can be! I tried this trick with my fourth baby, and his delivery was the first in which I did not need stitches for tearing! Praise YHVH!
13. Use a paper bag to focus breathing. My midwife explained to the student midwife attending my fourth baby’s birth, “The paper bag is her signature.” So true! The pushing part of labor is so much pressure that with my first baby I started to hyperventilate. A paper bag helped me the first time to slow my breathing and relax, and I’ve used it ever since. Something about hearing and feeling my breath in the paper bag grounds me and keeps fear and panic out of my mind and body.
As you can see, I really do have to “labor” for my pain free labors. It takes all my focus to relax and stay loose during contractions. I hope by sharing how I break the fear—tension—pain cycle in my labors, you’re able to glean helpful tidbits.
Of course, labor will be whatever it will be. Whether it’s pain free, the hardest thing you’ve ever experienced, or something in between, trust in YHVH’s design. Surrender to it.
Shalom!
Raquel
Women Living Torah 
1 thought on “My 13 Natural Childbirth Tips”